Masculinty- defined.

On Wednesday we talked about what masculinity means and what good vs. bad masculinity. We decided that an idea of a “good man” would be someone like Noah from the Notebook. On the other hand we picked Danny Zuko to depict “bad masculinity”. Masculinity to me is just a load of bull crap. For a man to have to come off as “manly” in order to be accepted ad respected is absolute absurd. Boys are expected to be emotionless, heartless, and just all around jerks. If they are then they get to be considered “THE man”. If a guy even shows an ounce of emotion they are called a sissy and told to man up. If they don’t go to the gym to get “swole” they are weak. If they eat salads they get told they are a girl. I don’t know when we started defining masculinity by those standards but I just don’t see how that is even relatable. Masculinity to me is a physical attribute. It isn’t based on anything remotely close to any of my examples. Masculinity can vary from guy to guy. To me it seems like more of an individualized thing. I think masculinity should be based off of what an individual feels makes them manly. If taking ballet classes is what “Jerry” does and it makes him feel masculine… AWESOME. Great for him. Never should a boy, man, be told how to “be masculine”. Never should a man be told what it takes and how he can improve their masculinity. End of story.

Advertisements

13 thoughts on “Masculinty- defined.

  1. I completely agree with this post. I feel like many guys shy away from participating in certain activities or doing certain things in fear of being made fun of because it is not manly. We talked about in class that men are judged by what they eat, to what they drink, to the activities they participate in. My guy friends always give each other hate if they do not drink enough beer or they are not able to grow facial hair. I think these are all ridiculous, because these certain stereotypes vary from person to person. In the blog post you mentioned that if a guy liked to dance and did ballet, he should be able to and I agree 100%. In my high school it was frowned upon if a guy participated in the drama club or even wanted to join cheerleading. The year I graduated, the first male joined our cheerleading team and he got a lot of hate for it. What I do not understand is that if they like to do it and are passionate about it, why do we have to give them hate for it? I personally thought it was awesome that he joined the cheer leading team because if he likes to do it then he should pursue it! We have to stop stereotyping these certain activities and other things, if people like it they should be able to do it without getting judged!

    Like

  2. I agree with your definition of masculinity and how the term can be individualized depending on the person. I feel like men are expected to be masculine and if they show any form of femininity, emotion, or sensitivity it will be frowned upon by society. I feel like it is much harder for a man to pursue a sport like dance or cheerleading (sports seen as typical “woman sports”) than woman who can play sports like basketball and soccer and not be made fun of. If a woman’s good at sports many men will find this attractive, although if a man is good at something considered “girly” people may automatically just assume that he is gay. Men should not have to hide their feelings or things about themselves just because it is not considered “masculine.”

    Like

  3. This whole post totally struck me. I agree with everything that was said. It’s sad that some people still have these old-fashioned opinions where they think that guys have to be/act certain ways in order to be considered “manly”. Honestly it reminds me of something really sexist that one of my family members said a couple months ago. There was a girl at this party and she had been brining a lot of guys around for everyone to meet. He decided to make a joke out of it and say that if a guy had brought around a lot of girls for us all to meet that they would be congratulated for it but because she as a woman was doing it, it was considered “gross”. That makes no sense to me. Why is it that guys can go out and be with 100’s of women but when women want to experiment with their sexuality, their seen as a slut?? We need to change these ideas of how men and women are “supposed” to act going into the future cause the world is evolving and these old-fashioned opinions should do the same.

    Like

  4. I agree with your definition of masculinity in this post. I too feel that masculinity is defined by a person and what they feel. Whatever makes a man feel masculine should be what defines him as his own person. Honestly, there are women who want to feel masculine as well, so this definition shouldn’t just be made for men. Just as femininity is used to define both men and women, so should masculinity. Using either of these adjectives to describe a person should not be seen as negative, it’s just describing their personality or ways of being. Like you stated, the definition of masculinity can be defined as whatever makes a person feel masculine, by their own standards. This goes for femininity as well.

    Like

  5. PREACH. I myself, and I’m sure many others too, have had a particular run-in with masculinity, and needed to question how the definitive boundaries of masculinity were exactly holding me back. One of my favorite hobbies is color guard, which is a very dance based physical activity that is predominantly girls. Within the community itself, no one questions someone’s masculinity, but from an outside perspective many people question why men do it since it usually involves dance and makeup. When I first tried to join my team in high school, I was opposed by my mother, as I would be the only guy on this team and that bothered her. Moreover, my own band instructor had prevented me from doing so, and tried to convince me otherwise by saying “I’d be the only guy on the field in a unitard and makeup.” People tried to stop me from doing something I liked just because it questioned the norms of masculinity, and I was eventually able to over come these issues and do what I like to do.

    Like

  6. I agree with this post completely, as a society we should not push masculinity on boys. This idea of in order to be considered ‘manly’, you have to do this, this, and this is ridiculous. I feel bad for boys when they feel like they have to act a certain way or watch what they say in fear of being considered a wimp or not masculine. In class we discussed how people will say, “no homo” after complimenting the same sex and its just like, is that necessary??? No one thought you were gay for saying that anyway?? I agree that being masculine is a feeling, it depends on the day and how you would like to portray yourself.

    Like

  7. I agree, at times I feel bad for my brother because while he was growing up, my parents put him in numerous sports, because generally when people think of a boy they think athletic, or them growing up and becoming a superstar athlete. They put my brother in wrestling and because of the person my brother is, he absolutely hated it. I agree that we need to focus on the individual and what they like to do and what their version of masculinity is. Turns out my brother really enjoys drawing and is good at it, my mom is supportive in this but my dad at times wants his son to be “tough” and do something more athletic. I think they have finally reached a happy-medium because my brother found a love for running, but why do guys have to get some sort of stamp of approval of their masculinity? I also believe that society’s definition of masculinity needs to be updated to how society is today and how an individual themselves perceive masculinity, and not be told how to act or what to do.

    Like

  8. I agree and thought you had some very good points in your post. The stereotypical man is supposed to be a “bad boy”. They aren’t supposed to be lovey or sweet, they are always supposed to have this tough guy front and if not they are a “wuss”. If I think of a “manly man” it is a muscular guy with some facial hair, smoking a cigar and drinking some dark liquor, well dressed in a suit, but that is only seen in movies! It is so unrealistic to have these stereotypes for men to classify them as manly. If a guy wants to do yoga or order a cocktail at the bar, isn’t the biggest football fanatic and want to be kind to a girl, they are still masculine and are just as much of a man as the jerk guy stereotype.

    Like

  9. It might be true that masculinity is most of the times related to being emotionless, heartless and all of that but I don’t agree with you when you said that it’s the only way to be respected among men. I have known guys who would never raise their tone or act violently or act like jerks at any circumstances, and they were the most respected among their friends and even more respected that those who acted the other ‘violent’ way. They were nice, cheerful and most importantly they were confidant persons who had values and who knew that the right way to be respected is to respect others in their turn. It might seem that these kind of guys are really rare but at least I wanted to say that all kind of man, jerks or not, respect this kind of behavior and this proves that every man deep in his mind knows what’s the right way to be a man and that it’s just a matter of confidence.

    Like

  10. I agree with you if a guy shows any emotion at all they are considered a “girl”. It’s as if guys need to be emotionless in order to be considered masculine. Whenever I’m on twitter I always see videos titled “rip to my best friend because he got a girlfriend”. I will never understand those videos because do people actually believe that if a boy is affectionate with his girlfriend he is less than a man? Being nice for your significant other isn’t just “made for women”. Like you said boys refrain from certain activists because they are afraid they will be called less than a man. For an example some boys don’t admit to how long it takes for them to get ready because others might ridicule them and say “what are you a girl?”.

    Like

  11. I agree with your blog post very much. I think masculine and feminine are words with no real meaning. It makes me sad that today there are still people who don’t grasp the fact that boys can be “feminine” and that’s okay! And girls can be “masculine” too! I honestly think if you think showing your feelings or liking feminine things as a man is weak then you are the weak one and that is unfortunate.

    Like

  12. I agree with your blog post very much. I think masculine and feminine are words with no real meaning. It makes me sad that today there are still people who don’t grasp the fact that boys can be “feminine” and that’s okay! And girls can be “masculine” too! I honestly think if you think showing your feelings or liking feminine things as a man is weak then you are the weak one and that is unfortunate. I don’t get why it’s like there’s a Masc./Fem. police out there that’ll arrest you for “being different than the norm” or thinking that different is okay? Why do we raise our children from the beginning to be the same but strive for them to be “different” and excel past their peers? “Normal” people don’t make history!

    Like

  13. I really like this.
    There is definitely a lot of pressure to be masculine when you’re male, however, a lot of that pressure comes from other males.
    This is why people need to realize that feminism helps everyone, not just specifically women. One of the topics feminism works on is bringing awareness, and then change to toxic, aggressive, entitled behavior which would then alleviate a lot of the pressure to be “masculine”.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s